The 'Middle Wife'by an anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,but the best "birth story" I know is the one I saw in my own secondgrade classroom a few years back.When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness, and usually,show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, modelairplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lugit in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,takes her turn, and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillowstuffed under her sweater.She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother,and I'm going to tell you about his birth day.''First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad puta seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for ninemonths through an umbrella cord.'She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not tolaugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh,Oh, Oh!!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walkedaround the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!!' (Now this kid isdoing a hysterical duck-walk and groaning.)'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn'thave a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to liedown in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against thewall.)'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in casehe got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, likepsshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimingwater flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,breathe.' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then,all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuffthat they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so theremust be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wifespanked him for crawling up in there.'Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
Ever since then, when it'sshow-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'MiddleWife' comes along.Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to help someone laugh and behappy!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Baby's Growth
Well, the ultrasound showed that I'm now 10 weeks 4 days, so here's the newest update.
Your pregnancy: 10 weeks
How your baby's growing:Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.
How your baby's growing:Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Ultrasound
Well, today was the big day. I have to admit, I had a hard time sleeping last night, I've been so keyed up about this appointment. So, here's how it went.
At 3:20 I arrived for my physical exam, where I had to pee in a cup (again!) but luckily thanks to my enlarging uterus peeing is NOT a problem. In fact, I had to pee 3 times during my 1.5 hour appointment. Go me! They weighed me (gotta love that) and it turns out that I'm down 2 lbs. since the beginning of the month. Thank you nausea, which has been getting worse this week. It's more like a constant companion.
Anyway, I met one of the doctors, Dr. Cal, who seemed pretty nice. The office has three doctors, and you meet all three and choose which one you want to be your primary care provider. But, when it's time to deliver the baby, you get whichever doctor is on duty that day, so that's why they want you to have at least one appointment with each doctor. Anyway, he did his business down there and everything checked out okay.
Then I got to wait in the waiting room for another 20 minutes for the ultrasound techinician, Amy, to finish up with her previous appointment. During that time Mj arrived and I had the awkard pleasure of meeting up with a previous Notre Dame Academy student who was about 6 months pregnant. I couldn't come up with anything better than, "Oh, look at you!" and smile. Oh, well.
Finally, our turn!! The ultrasound itself was amazing, and I wish it could have last an hour instead of 15 minutes! She was able to find the little baby right away, although she said she could have seen it better if I hadn't just peed three times! Well, how was I to know? Regardless, we got to see it okay. In the pictures, you can see it's little head and in one you can see the hands and feet. She focused in on the heart and we were able to see if beating and hear it too. She said the baby's heartrate is 171 beats per minute! No wonder I'm so tired all the time. It was just so amazing to finally see that there really IS something in there, even though it's only one inch long right now.
The last thing she said was that the fetus measured 10 weeks 3 days old. Well, we thought that I was only 9 weeks 4 days along, so it looks like the due date is going to get moved up a bit. She said that when I got back for the my next appointment in 4 weeks they'll examine my uterus and see what size it is and then the doctors will offically change my due date to whatever they think it is.
So, that's the scoop for now. I go back at the end of February for another check-up, but we will only get 2 ultrasounds, so the next and last one will be at 20 weeks. The cool thing is that the 20 week one is with a 3D ultrasound machine, so it looks like an actual picture of your baby's face rather than a blurry black lump. Gotta love modern technology!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Baby's Growth
9 weeks
Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Feelin' Good
I haven't written in a few days, so even though I don't really have anything interesting to report I thought I'd check in anyway. Actually, the past week has been pretty great. I've been feeling really good, just a little tired. Right now I'm just counting down the days until the ultrasound on Thursday. It'll really make this whole thing seem real when we can actually see it and hear a heartbeat. I mean, all this kinda feels surreal, like maybe I'll just wake up one morning and realize that I'm not really pregnant, just tired and fat! But, after we see that everything's okay in there it will be totally different. I'm so excited, but also a little bit nervous because, well, I've never had an ultrasound before so I have no idea what to expect and how much we'll get to see. So, look for a post on Thursday night, and hopefully they'll give us some pictures of our little blob!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Tour Guide
I was in Target yesterday, so I decided to make my way over to the baby aisles to check things out. Umm, I need a tour guide. Looking over those aisles and aisles of stuff practically gave me the cold sweats, I have no idea what half this stuff is!!!
Seriously, I pretty much just stood there with my jaw open at the sheer amount of stuff! So, apparantely I have a lot of learning to do. I mean, I thought I knew the basics, but I am woefully underinformed, apparantely. I thought, okay, I know what a pack 'n play is, so you just go in and choose one that looks nice. Well, that is clearly not enough. There are all different kinds, all different looks, some have changing station, others have bassinets, some vibrate and play music, some offer "one-handed" assembly and the list just goes on and on and on.
Geez, it's going to take 6 months just to learn about all this stuff and decide what the heck you actually need and what's a waste. Who knew!?!?
Seriously, I pretty much just stood there with my jaw open at the sheer amount of stuff! So, apparantely I have a lot of learning to do. I mean, I thought I knew the basics, but I am woefully underinformed, apparantely. I thought, okay, I know what a pack 'n play is, so you just go in and choose one that looks nice. Well, that is clearly not enough. There are all different kinds, all different looks, some have changing station, others have bassinets, some vibrate and play music, some offer "one-handed" assembly and the list just goes on and on and on.
Geez, it's going to take 6 months just to learn about all this stuff and decide what the heck you actually need and what's a waste. Who knew!?!?
Sunday, January 18, 2009
So Proud
So, we all know Mj isn't one to create a lot of fuss over himself, so I am doing it for him. He has been working at Plumbline Solutions for 5 years now, although most of us don't really know what he does there other than "something with tech support and computers". Well, every January the company has their Holiday Gala where it's a nice dinner and whatever and they give out 5 awards. Mj has been nominated for at least one award every year, last year he was nominated for 3 of them! Well, we've always gone home empty handed. He doesn't mind, because that's just how he is, but his co workers know and I know that he works his butt off for that company, frequently coming home late even though there's no "overtime"
Last night we was nominated for 2 awards:
Building Lasting Relationships Award - this goes to the person who does whatever it takes to make the customer satisfied and consistenly goes beyond the call of duty. There were 8 people nominated and it comes with a trophy and a $250 bonus.
The Golden Plumbline Award - this is like their Employee of the Year award, so to be eligible you have to have been awarded the Employee of the Quarter award, so there are always only 4 people eligible. This award comes with a huge gold trophy, your name on the office plaque forever, and a $500 bonus.
Well, guess what, MJ won both!! All of his co-workers were cheering and saying that he totally deserved it because he worked so hard and made such a difference for the company. Because I know that MJ isn't going to call around to advertise his good news, I'm doing it for him because I am just so proud of him.
Last night we was nominated for 2 awards:
Building Lasting Relationships Award - this goes to the person who does whatever it takes to make the customer satisfied and consistenly goes beyond the call of duty. There were 8 people nominated and it comes with a trophy and a $250 bonus.
The Golden Plumbline Award - this is like their Employee of the Year award, so to be eligible you have to have been awarded the Employee of the Quarter award, so there are always only 4 people eligible. This award comes with a huge gold trophy, your name on the office plaque forever, and a $500 bonus.
Well, guess what, MJ won both!! All of his co-workers were cheering and saying that he totally deserved it because he worked so hard and made such a difference for the company. Because I know that MJ isn't going to call around to advertise his good news, I'm doing it for him because I am just so proud of him.
Baby's Growth
Your pregnancy: 8 weeks
Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.
Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Getting Fat
It's one thing to read a book that says you'll start bloating and looking fat, and quite another to experience it. My pants are definitely not as comfortable and I feel extra jiggly. The really weird part is that the scale is the same! It just doesn't seem physically possible to be bigger while not weighing any different. In the other blogs and chat boards that I visit I've read about other women around 7 or 8 weeks along who are already wearing maternity clothes. Last week when I read these posts, I laughed at these women and how they clearly had lost control over their eating habits. Well, after wearing uncomfortable jeans all day I'm starting to think differently about them.
So yesterday I was dousing myself with cocoa butter from head to toe in a feeble attempt to ward off stretch marks and generally feeling ugly and lumpy and Mj walked in. I forced him to promise to pretend to continue to find me attractive even when I'm wearing a muu muu and scarred by stretch marks and cellulite. Needless to say he was a little horrified by the mental picture that I painted, but he's a good sport and he promised. Also, he's been a real trooper about all the books that I've been reading, and he'll even read some sections himself. I also made a point to show him one part where the author suggested that all husbands buy their wives something really nice in order to say thanks for all the crap the wives have to go through. We'll how carefully he actually read that part....
So yesterday I was dousing myself with cocoa butter from head to toe in a feeble attempt to ward off stretch marks and generally feeling ugly and lumpy and Mj walked in. I forced him to promise to pretend to continue to find me attractive even when I'm wearing a muu muu and scarred by stretch marks and cellulite. Needless to say he was a little horrified by the mental picture that I painted, but he's a good sport and he promised. Also, he's been a real trooper about all the books that I've been reading, and he'll even read some sections himself. I also made a point to show him one part where the author suggested that all husbands buy their wives something really nice in order to say thanks for all the crap the wives have to go through. We'll how carefully he actually read that part....
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Books
The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy - Vicki Iovine - This book is also extremely funny. It's a good match between the facts and information from What to Expect and the funny stories from the author's friends. If I had to choose only one book to read, I think it would be this one. Vicki shares every last gory and uncomfortable details so that expectant mothers really know what's coming, however, there was some stuff that I'm thinking maybe I would rather not have known.
Baby's Growth
Your pregnancy: 7 weeks
Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.
Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Books
Those of you who know me well, know that I love to read, and that I can also read very quickly. For example, I read all four Twilight books, each well over 500 pages in less than a week.
Anyway, I have been reading lots of baby books to learn as much as I can so that I can shake the feeling of "I have no idea what I'm doing here!" What I've learned is that nobody tells you all the unsexy and unpleasant side effects of pregnancy. I will spare you the gory details, but if you've never been pregnant, you don't want to know.
Anyway, here are my book reviews so far.
What to Expect When You're Expecting - Heidi Murkoff - I got this book for free from the doctor, otherwise I'm not sure that I would have read it. It's pretty clinical, but it certainly tells you everything. Even thought it wasn't very interesting to read because it's kind of like a textbook, I think that I'll like having it as a resource so that I can look up what kinds of cold medicine I can't have and so on.
Babyhood - Paul Reiser - This was definitely not a self-help book, but it was so funny! It goes through the journey he and his wife went through from deciding to have a baby to after the baby was born. This is a funny book that I would recommend to anyone who likes babies and pregnant ladies, whether they are actually pregnant or not. I read this book last night, and I was sitting on the couch reading while MJ played DDR. Yes, this is pretty much a typical description of our evening activities. Anyway, every once in a while I would start actually laughing out loud, and MJ would stop playing so that I could read the funny part to him, which we both enjoyed. You gotta love a book that talk about being scared of boobs and baby boy balls.
Anyway, I have been reading lots of baby books to learn as much as I can so that I can shake the feeling of "I have no idea what I'm doing here!" What I've learned is that nobody tells you all the unsexy and unpleasant side effects of pregnancy. I will spare you the gory details, but if you've never been pregnant, you don't want to know.
Anyway, here are my book reviews so far.
What to Expect When You're Expecting - Heidi Murkoff - I got this book for free from the doctor, otherwise I'm not sure that I would have read it. It's pretty clinical, but it certainly tells you everything. Even thought it wasn't very interesting to read because it's kind of like a textbook, I think that I'll like having it as a resource so that I can look up what kinds of cold medicine I can't have and so on.
Babyhood - Paul Reiser - This was definitely not a self-help book, but it was so funny! It goes through the journey he and his wife went through from deciding to have a baby to after the baby was born. This is a funny book that I would recommend to anyone who likes babies and pregnant ladies, whether they are actually pregnant or not. I read this book last night, and I was sitting on the couch reading while MJ played DDR. Yes, this is pretty much a typical description of our evening activities. Anyway, every once in a while I would start actually laughing out loud, and MJ would stop playing so that I could read the funny part to him, which we both enjoyed. You gotta love a book that talk about being scared of boobs and baby boy balls.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Craving
I experienced my first strong craving today. I was driving home, and into my head popped "french bread". I tried to listen to the radio, I tried to think about something else, but I just couldn't get french bread out of my head. I seriously felt a physical pull to each french bread RIGHT NOW!! So, what did I do? Yes, I just drove to Kroger and bought a baguette. I ate a normal sized piece, and now I'm sitting here having a staring contest with the baguette because I really want to eat the whole thing right now. Well, that's not very healthy is it? So, I'm gonna show the bread who's boss and walk away before the baguette starts giving me the evil eye. I am strong, I will win.
Monday, January 5, 2009
1st day at school
So today was the first day back at school. I think it's going to a lot more difficult to keep this secret than I thought. First of all, I had to go to the bathroom 5 times today, and I almost fell asleep at lunch. And, the funniest part, was that today some students brought in traditional foods for extra credit. Well, this boy was passing out his cookies and talking about how he wasn't sure that they tasted very good. I had just taken a bite of the cookie and started feeling very nauseous. Well, the poor boy thought that his cookie made me feel that way! I'd really prefer to wait another 4 weeks before telling the general public and 6 weeks before telling my co-workers, but this secret is so hard to keep when it's such good news!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Baby's Growth
This information was copied from babycenter.com about how the baby's growing.
Your pregnancy: 6 weeks
This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean.
First Appointment
So, this morning I had my first appointment, and according to the nurse, I am 5 weeks and 5 days preganant. Our estimated due date is August 30, 2009. I'm going back at the end of the month for the first ultrasound, and at that point they'll be able to tell more about the baby and it's development and they'll have be able to get a better idea of the due date then.
Of course, the appointment could only begin after I submitted my "sample". Well, I don't perform too well under pressure, so it took me 40 minutes and chugging 3 glasses of water before I could finally pee in that stupid cup.
This is just all so exciting and new. We have our next appointment on January 29th and that's when they'll do the first ultrasound, which will be super exciting. I'll try to keep updating the blog as we learn new things.
Of course, the appointment could only begin after I submitted my "sample". Well, I don't perform too well under pressure, so it took me 40 minutes and chugging 3 glasses of water before I could finally pee in that stupid cup.
This is just all so exciting and new. We have our next appointment on January 29th and that's when they'll do the first ultrasound, which will be super exciting. I'll try to keep updating the blog as we learn new things.
Wow
So, this whole journey is still very new to us. But, I've decided to blog about it for two reasons. One, I want my family in Brazil to be able to be with us through this Journey, but two, this will be a tangible record that our baby can have one day so that this baby can understand just how much he/she is wanted, loved, and treasured more than words can say.
To spare the gory details, this all happened pretty quickly. We had been talking about having a baby for a long time, and we decided to go off the pill at the end of August. In the beginning of December, I started to have some gut feelings. I took the home test on Monday, December 22nd and it was positive!! This was really exciting and also stressful because we were leaving for Rio de Janeiro in about two hours.
We took a few days to get used to the news, but each day there were more and more signs. We're going to have a baby!!
To spare the gory details, this all happened pretty quickly. We had been talking about having a baby for a long time, and we decided to go off the pill at the end of August. In the beginning of December, I started to have some gut feelings. I took the home test on Monday, December 22nd and it was positive!! This was really exciting and also stressful because we were leaving for Rio de Janeiro in about two hours.
We took a few days to get used to the news, but each day there were more and more signs. We're going to have a baby!!
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